So, I'm in AP art. Miss Lench does like my work, but I was talking to her about what scores high with the board and she said realism with lots of shading... Which is completely not my style. I'm freaking out, 'cause I want to stay true to myself, but I almost feel as if the board is telling me how good of an artist I am... I'm looking for some freaking validation, something that will tell me I am a good artist. I hear comments from friends and stuff, and I can never sort out when it's just a friend commenting and being nice, or when it's someone actually in love with my work. I feel so insignificant next to the amazing artists on DA and I really want to work in the art field, but when I think about the people on DA, the people I'm competing with, I know I won't get a job... so if I receive a good score from the college board,then maybe I'll feel confident enough to actually pursue a job in the art field. I don't know. T_T lol I guess I'm just bitching, but I'm just really insecure about my art. I really want to score well on my art portfolio so that I know for a fact that I'm not a failure at everything... for once, I'd like to actually be good at something, be the best at something... anything.

Wow did that spiral. Anyway... just ignore this journal. I just need to get more sleep and then maybe I won't think about this kind of stuff.